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March 27, 2007
Question: I have been talking to this girl for 2 months now and i told her that i am attracted to her and like spending time with her, but
i do not want to be in a relationship now. I am 22 turning 23 at the beginning of April and she is turning 18 on the 30th of this month. she is
an awesome girl and we have a lot in common. if she is surprisingly mature for her age and everything is awesome, why am i afraid about making us
more than friends?
ANSWER: If you are unsure, that is enough. You should not go deeper into a relationship if you are unsure about your commitment to be as
involved with the girl as she might become with you. But you should not let yourself decide conclusively now for all time that she is not someone
to date. You are obviously attracted to her and like her company. While you cannot ignore your gut feeling, you should not make a
“permanent” decision.
Your gut feeling can change. You may want to revive the relationship later. If you do, be respectful of how she may change her mind too.
If she decides she does not want to go back with you into a relationship because she has found another guy, or for any other reason, you must
respect her decision.
If you think you might sort it out fairly soon, you can ask her to give you some time to think about it. Get some space and see how you
feel in another month or so, and then try again. But don’t ignore your gut feeling. It is often a good barometer of pressures that should
be avoided, even if you can’t describe or put your finger on them.
By the way, if you reassure her by telling her that you think she is awesome, which is true, she will find it even harder to understand
your thinking. For her, it will be inconsistent for you to think she is awesome and yet not want a relationship, and you can't blame her for
thinking you are crazy! It is of course up to you whether you tell her she is awesome. But as you know now, the wizard supports your crazy idea
of following your gut because, crazily enough, it is not crazy.
Wizard
March 22, 2007
Question: My girlfriend does not share my beliefs. She does not understand me when I say I am busy or tired. She is always sort of
accusing me for something I have not done. She is jealous when I talk to my female friends, to name but a few. I want to dump her now. Your
assistance will be highly appreciated.
ANSWER: The wizard cannot dump for you. So many possible situations can arise, it is impossible for the wizard to help when no details or
even questions are given.
Read some of the entries in the past and learn from them. Much can be learned simply by looking over earlier submissions.
Wizard
March 21, 2007
Question: Hi, I've been going out with a girl for about 2 months now. She’s ok but she's also kind of weird and not exactly a TOP
model. I don’t have any pleasure being with her, but also I don't want to hurt her. Please help, what to do. THX
ANSWER: You will hurt her more by letting her get deeper into the relationship while you delay in telling her. You need to get it done
now. Tell her you want to date other girls, that you really enjoyed her company and wish her well, and that you just don’t want to make a
commitment in a relationship right now.
Don’t criticize. If you tell her what is wrong with her in your mind, she will take it as a criticism and feel hurt just from that.
In other words, DON’T tell her she is kind of weird and not exactly a top model.
Wizard
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